We sell a bunch of shirts and junk that'll sit around and collect dust. Woops. Bein' a little too honest. "Corporate" wouldn't appreciate that because they're all about the "numbers". OK, here's my best sales pitch: Buy this stuff. It'll keep me talking ('cause if we're not makin' money, the ventriloquist will go back to a day job and I'll get stored in a trunk for a long time. No Krispy Kremes, Five Guys...I'll just sit there for DAYS.) Anyway, I hope you enjoy the goods.
People Magazine's "best looking male" 2012 (OK, maybe I made that up - but buy this stuff already!)